Percy's Rebellion

Sal was there in the window with a brown apron on and his hair pulled back into a manbun. The large gold letters on the glass said “Karma Cafe”. I went in and bought a coffee. He looked real serious at me where I’d expected a grin or something. All the same he released the milk frothing cup and rounded the counter to give me a big hug.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Sal said.

“I’ve been staying with this woman,” I might’ve said it like that just to see him have some funny reaction.

Sure enough he put his face in his hand and then opened his eyes wide with a headshake of disbelief, “you stud,” he splayed his hands infront of him like he was gunna grab me, “you fucking guy, its good to see you,” and then he did grab me smiling and said, “who is she?”

“Remember that woman we met the first night here? The one who called Percy a deep thinker or something?” I said.

“You don’t mean the grandma.”

“Yeah.”

“You fucker, I thought you’d found a girl or something. Hey are you still talking to Estelle? Shit I’m sorry, you probably don’t wanna talk about that, here come out back and we’ll have a smoke.” He left his apron hanging behind the bar and said something through a small window to an old man who responded “sure”.

The back door led to a shitty little parking lot. It was pretty much boxed in on all six sides. Below us the asphalt was all run bare to the rocks by rain and probably snow and tires; on two of the four sides were four or five story buildings; behind us was the flat beige wall of Karma Cafe; then there was a square of blue sky way up high, and the entrance to the secret little parkinglot blocked by a tall wire fence. There was a single folding chair which Sal offered me. He lit a cigarette and handed me one and the lighter.

“So you’re still smoking, thats nice to see,” I said.

“And you are too.” Sal said.

“Just so you don’t feel like the only one. Out of pity you know,” I smiled. I knew he was gunna start going off on something any minute so I just sat there and waited. I knew what it was gunna be, or I was pretty sure. It really only could’ve been three things, Percy, a new girl, or his family. He took longer than I thought, just smoking and talking about nothing so I asked, “So how’s P—”

“Don’t even get me started on Percy,” he said, “I mean shit where do I even begin.”

But he knew where to begin and it took him no time at all to get going.

“You know how Percy hates the landlord. A while ago it got bad cause the guy’d been coming into the house unannounced to show your empty room and poke around in a sus way. So everytime Percy maddogs him and when Rob says ‘Oh hi Percy!’ Percy squints at him with a thin little fake smile and says back ‘Oh hi Rob’. Percy calls him an aristocrat as if Percy is some good old working class boy — I mean he’s sitting on the fucking couch reading Baudelaire. The way Percy talks about Rob, you’d think Percy came from some long line of disenfrachised farmers and factory workers, and Rob came from some equally long line of landowners. He goes on and on after Rob leaves like, ‘Rob is an opp, he just comes in here without saying anything, walks in my room and shit. He never puts any work into the house either. And then he retreats to his little manor up on the hill with all his bags of cash.” Which is actually pretty funny to watch, especially considering Percy’s dishes from a week and a half ago are still in the sink. Anyways, about two months ago Percy was going off about how — what did he say — oh yeah, he said ‘Rob thinks he can sneak by like he’s some stand up guy. He thinks if he’s a democrat or something then he’s one of us, but him calling Trump evil is like one serial killer condemning another’. All of thisstarted because Percy forgot to pay his rent and had to pay overdue charges for like four-hundred dollars.

Percy told Rob he wouldn’t pay it and somehow even got Rob to cut it down to two-hundred. But of course after that, Percy got this little glint in his eye and started talking about how Rob has no real power and how all he cares about is money and getting it easily so if you put up too much of a fight Rob won’t do shit. He even started talking to me about how we could jointly demand a lower rent, which I almost went along with cause, you know, I mean I work here almost everyday and two-thirds of the money I make fourteen-hundred goes to rent.” Sal stopped short and said, “Oh man I almost forgot, you’ve got to see this letter Percy wrote to Rob. Thank God he asked me to mail it because Percy might’ve actually gone to jail,” Sal ran inside and came back with a ripped envelope and pulled out the letter, “Just listen,

To the Landlord,

The tenants have organized themselves into a body, and resolved not to pay any more rent until they can be redressed of their grievances. The tenants now assume the right of doing to their landlord as he has for a long time done with them, viz: as they please. You need not think this to be children’s play. If you come out in your official capacity I would not pledge for your safe return.

A Tenant.

He gave me the letter to mail and I kept it, obviously. Well, getting no response from Rob, Percy took it pretty far, cause not only did he not send the two-hendred, but he also only sent half of the money for the following months rent. And guess how I found that out? Because Rob sent a formal letter to the house saying if we continued to break contract with our lease he would evict us.

I showed that letter to Percy and he waved it off. He changed the locks on the doors and told me that even if Rob did try to have us evicted, he would crumple at any sign of physical inconvenience because he is a ‘weak spined aristocrat’. So obviously I thought he’d gone insane and I just sent the difference of Percy’s rent to Rob with an apology letter. But now each month Percy thinks he only needs to send in half his rent. And he went on unemployment too so he’s resting on his laurels and I had to start pulling doubles gig jobs just to pay for it. It’s hard to fucking live with him when he starts shit talking Rob or philosophizing about the human condition or aesthetics or some shit.”

In the time he’d been talking, Sal’d finished three cigarettes and now he pulled out a fourth and lit it.

“He sounds like he almost won the good fight,” I said laughing, imagining Percy scowling over Baudelaire on the couch. I found it kinda crazy Sal had willingly described himself as a scab. Especially when it must’ve really mattered to Percy cause I’d never seen him get in such a tizzy like that about anything before, “when are you gunna tell Percy you betrayed the working class?”

Sal scowled at me, “Fuck if I know. I’m gunna move out as soon as I can. It’s just tricky with the lease,” he paused, “speaking of which, how did you get out of it? Didn’t Rob ever demand you come back and pay?”

“I really don’t know,” I said, “That’s the benefit of smashing your phone to pieces. You could try that.”

“You should really reach back out to him. Or maybe not, I don’t know. I just think it’s gunna catch up to you,” He paused, “No. I’ll figure it without breaking laws and shit. I’m capable of that.”